Blog Post 4

   Yesterday, I saw my AP Biology exam score. I do not know how to describe my feelings. It was the score that I've expected, but not the score that I hoped I could get. It made me seriously doubt my abilities. Since kindergarten, I've been on the top of the class for forever. I was enrolled in the best kindergarten there was in Vancouver at the time after actual tests. Since young age, I've always been able to maintain my grades and other extracurricular activities on the top portion of the class. However, this whole previous year made me start to doubt myself more and more. Yes, I still maintain my straight As, but even my SAT scores haven't been as well as I hoped it could be, and definitely not as high as several people in the class. Also, in the AP Biology course, I felt like I was struggling the whole year through, making me really rethink to myself, am I really as smart as I think I am? Am I really diligent/ hardworking enough as other people think I am?
   Seeing the score last night was definitely not a great idea, as it basically ruined my Saturday night. I was reconsidering the number of AP courses that I want to take next year. This phase of self-doubt is rather hard to bear with, but I know that I eventually will have to knock out of it. After having a talk with a graduate, I felt much better, and I know that even though I really did not do well this time, I learn from my mistakes. I've learned an experience that there can be absolutely no procrastination with these AP courses, and next year when I take the courses that I will be taking, I will definitely ask whenever I have questions, instead of keeping them towards the end of the year, thinking that I would be able to swing by the class and the exam. I screwed up this exam this year, even though I started to dash, I started too late. I saved too much energy in the beginning of the race, and I've learned. I am not sad about the score anymore, maybe a little bit, but I've decided to use it as an experience and a motivation for definitely scoring a much better score for upcoming AP courses.